Pirates: Totalus Rankium

Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium

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Episodes

07 John Halsey

Wednesday Mar 19, 2025

Wednesday Mar 19, 2025

Who is John Halsey? Is he the nice man of piracy? Does he have a plan? Where did all the dragons come from? Find out in this episode!

06 Thomas White

Wednesday Mar 05, 2025

Wednesday Mar 05, 2025

What to do with a pirate we are not 100% sure was real? Cover him anyway and hope for the best! Check out Bluesky and facebook to see the images connected to this episode. https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7gf5k2c24
https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7iflrb224
 

05 John Bowen

Wednesday Feb 19, 2025

Wednesday Feb 19, 2025

Our pirate from last episode had a fellow pirate captain that he worked with. But was Bowen better than Howard? Did he take more ships? Did he instil more fear? Why should he look out for red fish? And does anyone know how to make a Tom Collins around here? Find out all the answers to these questions!

04 Thomas Howard

Wednesday Feb 05, 2025

Wednesday Feb 05, 2025

We enter the dark ages of our series where the names are not so well known. We have only the general history to rely on but does this mean Howard will be dull? Or is he a hidden gem? Find out!

03 William Kidd

Wednesday Jan 22, 2025

Wednesday Jan 22, 2025

Our third pirate is one of the most famous pirates of the time. He may not be too well known now, but back in pirate times he was up there with the best of them. But why? What makes Kidd so special? And more importantly, do we finally have a good ship name?

02 Thomas Tew

Wednesday Jan 08, 2025

Wednesday Jan 08, 2025

Our second pirate is the aptly named Thomas Tew. We saw Tew in Avery's episode when Avery took command of the pirate fleet. But how did Tew do on the attack? And just how friendly was his ship? Find out!

01 Henry Avery

Thursday Dec 26, 2024

Thursday Dec 26, 2024

So it begins! Join us as we look at the first pirate we will be covering. The pirate all other pirates wanted to be, the Robin Hood of the seas, it's Henry Avery! (or Every. or Everie. or... never mind, spelling was optional back then)

00 Ahoy Matey!

Wednesday Dec 25, 2024

Wednesday Dec 25, 2024

Welcome to the introduction episode for Pirates: Totalus Rankium! We are going to be ranking all the Golden Age pirates found in The General History of Pirates. Join us as we lightheartedly look at each one in turn. 30 pirates, but which one is the best? Find out!

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