Pirates: Totalus Rankium

Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium

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Episodes

7 days ago

George Lowther may not be the biggest names in pirate history, but he made his mark. He got a chapter in the General History. So let's find out why! 

Tuesday Feb 03, 2026

Here is the live speech we gave at last year's Intelligent Speech Conference. All about how you have been deceived about pirates! 
We are keynote speakers this year - tickets are out now! It's on the 28th of Feb, and if you go to intelligentspeechonline.com you can get your tickets. Use the code Rankium to get a discount!

23.2 Black Bart

Wednesday Jan 28, 2026

Wednesday Jan 28, 2026

We cover the rest of the story of Black Bart. The 3rd pirate to get the nickname of "black" in the series. but does he live up to it?

23.1 Black Bart

Wednesday Dec 17, 2025

Wednesday Dec 17, 2025

We come to another pirate with a cool nick name. Two episodes on him, but why? is the pirate we have all been waiting for?

22 Christopher Condent

Wednesday Nov 26, 2025

Wednesday Nov 26, 2025

It's not a long episode. And his name is not Christopher Condent. But don't let that disturb you - maybe he is great! Maybe?  

32 Edward England

Wednesday Nov 12, 2025

Wednesday Nov 12, 2025

This week we look into the life of an Irish pirate called England! We have come across him a couple of times already, but lets see what his story is all about.

20 Mary Read

Wednesday Oct 29, 2025

Wednesday Oct 29, 2025

We go to the friend of Ann this week. What, if anything, makes her stand out from her partner in crime? Does she have a new and equally probably made up back story? Find out!

19 Ann Bonney

Wednesday Oct 15, 2025

Wednesday Oct 15, 2025

We get to one of the most interesting pirates of the age - Ann Bonny. The pirate world was not kind to women, so how did Ann navigate the tumultuous waters of being a pirate and a woman? Find out! (Oh, and there is a load of fun nonsense from the General History too) 

Exciting Announcement!

Wednesday Oct 15, 2025

Wednesday Oct 15, 2025

Jamie and I will be keynote speakers at next year's Intelligent Speech conference! It is always a great time. 
Intelligent Speech Online is happening February 28th, 2026.
·         The theme is Companions and Rivals
·         Tickets are on sale at intelligentspeechonline.com
·         Earlybird pricing is available on tickets until December 31st, 2025.
·         Use discount code Rankium to get a discount!
·         Your ticket includes access to recorded copies of all presentations of the day, in case you aren’t able to attend live
Intelligent Speech is a veritable three ring circus of content, composed of four virtual “rooms” running 40 minute sessions simultaneously. In one of the said rooms, the session consists of a roundtable discussion and Q&A with our hand-selected panellists. In the regular sessions, a fascinating online personality will present a topic of their choice, followed by a lively Q&A with the audience. These Q&As, together with space and time for separate chats, create a unique experience in which members of the community can engage directly with the creators they follow.

18 Jack Rackham

Wednesday Oct 01, 2025

Wednesday Oct 01, 2025

At the end of Vane's episode he was overtaken by his quartermaster. But who was that man? Why was he wearing these clothes, and why are the turtle hunters so buff? Find out!

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