Pirates: Totalus Rankium
Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium
Episodes

Sep 9, 2026
Sep 9, 2026
50 min
The final quarter final we have a close round of 5: Condent, North, Rackham, Kidd and Low go head to head. but only two can go through!

Aug 26, 2026
Aug 26, 2026
1 hr 3 min
In the 3rd of the 4 rounds, we have Robin Hood Black Bellamy, Pirate King Vane, Gentleman Pirate Bonnet and Grandfather of piracy Avery. It is a round of death. only 2 can go through!

Aug 5, 2026
Aug 5, 2026
56 min
In the second round Black Bart goes up agianst Howard, Davies and Tew! All very good pirates, but only two can go through. (Thats two, not Tew. but maybe Tew)

Jul 29, 2026
Jul 29, 2026
58 min
We start the rounds to see who is the best and most piratey pirate around! Blackbeard v Halesy v Bonney v Read! Which 2 will go through?

May 27, 2026
May 27, 2026
17 min
So we come to the end - and that means one thing! The Pirate Rounds! Let's see who the best pirate of them all is! In this short episode we draw the names.

Apr 29, 2026
Apr 29, 2026
44 min
We come to our last pirate! William Fly is often considered the last pirate of the Golden Age. But why Fly? did he do something amazing? Or was he a damp squib.

Apr 15, 2026
Apr 15, 2026
57 min
Ned Low was a bit of a git. But what about his right hand man?
Well, probably a git as well. but maybe in a different way? find out!

Apr 1, 2026
Apr 1, 2026
1 hr 14 min
We come to one of the most vicious of all pirates in the golden age. But was this a myth? Was he really that bad? And did he just want to be a lumberjack?
Also: Link to Marco's graphic novel mentioned in the episode: https://www.nubes.live/en/product/ammianus-vesper-mundi/?v=813e21682148

Mar 18, 2026
Mar 18, 2026
1 hr 1 min
So, we don't get much on John Philips, but we do get a man to talk about him whose family we have come across before! Can you guess who? Can Jamie?

Feb 25, 2026








