Pirates: Totalus Rankium

Lighthearted history podcast ranking all of the Golden Age Pirates. Brought to you by the same people who created Roman Emperors Totalus Rankium and American President Totalus Rankium

Episodes

12 John Martel

Jun 11, 2025

Jun 11, 2025

1 hr 18 min

We are still in the Golden age! So does that mean more Sam Bellamy level antics? ... well, no. But we cover the history of Nassau. so that's good. 

Jun 11, 2025

1 hr 18 min

May 29, 2025

1 hr 46 min

Oh, we have hit the Golden Golden age now! This is what we signed up for. Black Flags, Skull and cross bones, parrots! Levels of nudity that would ensure HBO would have to make the TV version! Black Sam has it all. 

May 29, 2025

1 hr 46 min

10.5 Woods Rogers

May 14, 2025

May 14, 2025

1 hr 11 min

This week we go off script. We are not coving a pirate from the General History - but instead we are coving a man who will be popping up a lot in the future: None other than the pirate hunter Woods Rogers! And we try and answer the simple question: Woods Rogers?

May 14, 2025

1 hr 11 min

10 Nathaniel North

Apr 30, 2025

Apr 30, 2025

1 hr 30 min

We come to the end of the Pirate Round. North is perfect as he Forrest Gumps his way around the Indian Ocean. Let's do one last round before the Golden Age really begins!

Apr 30, 2025

1 hr 30 min

09 David Williams

Apr 16, 2025

Apr 16, 2025

1 hr 3 min

What happens when a Welsh farm boy is abandoned naked on the shore of Madagascar? Probably piratey shenanigans! Probably.  

Apr 16, 2025

1 hr 3 min

Apr 2, 2025

1 hr 7 min

After having the good man of piracy with Halesy last time, we now go to the bad man of piracy. Was he a pirate? Was he a slaver? Find out!

Apr 2, 2025

1 hr 7 min

07 John Halsey

Mar 19, 2025

Mar 19, 2025

1 hr 28 min

Who is John Halsey? Is he the nice man of piracy? Does he have a plan? Where did all the dragons come from? Find out in this episode!

Mar 19, 2025

1 hr 28 min

06 Thomas White

Mar 5, 2025

Mar 5, 2025

1 hr 21 min

What to do with a pirate we are not 100% sure was real? Cover him anyway and hope for the best! Check out Bluesky and facebook to see the images connected to this episode. https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7gf5k2c24
https://bsky.app/profile/totalusrankium.bsky.social/post/3ljl7iflrb224
 

Mar 5, 2025

1 hr 21 min

05 John Bowen

Feb 19, 2025

Feb 19, 2025

1 hr 52 min

Our pirate from last episode had a fellow pirate captain that he worked with. But was Bowen better than Howard? Did he take more ships? Did he instil more fear? Why should he look out for red fish? And does anyone know how to make a Tom Collins around here? Find out all the answers to these questions!

Feb 19, 2025

1 hr 52 min

04 Thomas Howard

Feb 5, 2025

Feb 5, 2025

1 hr 35 min

We enter the dark ages of our series where the names are not so well known. We have only the general history to rely on but does this mean Howard will be dull? Or is he a hidden gem? Find out!

Feb 5, 2025

1 hr 35 min

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